Same Old, Same Old

The same old, same old.
It has not left me.

But have I really tried?

Have I really committed to change?

No.

Plainly and simply I have not tried. Not truly.

Just brushed it under the carpet.

Pretending I can do better next time. Laying dormant, sleeping.

And next time comes and it’s still there. It rears it ugly head, grows and grows until it explodes.

I know it, I feel it and then I don’t care and don’t even bother to stop it.

It explodes and leaves devastation, perhaps even consequences I am even unaware of.

Unhealthy for all.

 

It will go on and on. If I let it.

I have the power to stop it.

I truly do.

One day I will use my heart and my brain together.

One day I will change because I realise I can’t do it this way any more.

I am too tired doing it this way.

I feel exhausted at my way all the time, even when I am at supposed peace.

I still feel that tiredness even now.

That day is coming. I know it is.

My reaction to the same old, same old is going to change.

Because in my heart I am ready.

 

xx