The same old, same old.
It has not left me.
But have I really tried?
Have I really committed to change?
Plainly and simply I have not tried. Not truly.
Just brushed it under the carpet.
Pretending I can do better next time. Laying dormant, sleeping.
And next time comes and it’s still there. It rears it ugly head, grows and grows until it explodes.
I know it, I feel it and then I don’t care and don’t even bother to stop it.
It explodes and leaves devastation, perhaps even consequences I am even unaware of.
Unhealthy for all.
It will go on and on. If I let it.
I have the power to stop it.
I truly do.
One day I will use my heart and my brain together.
One day I will change because I realise I can’t do it this way any more.
I am too tired doing it this way.
I feel exhausted at my way all the time, even when I am at supposed peace.
I still feel that tiredness even now.
That day is coming. I know it is.
My reaction to the same old, same old is going to change.
Because in my heart I am ready.